tickle her sweetly

some asshole beat his girlfriend n got carted away by local authorities late this evening, early this morning - sittin here watchin tv; blood curtling screams: "AHHH SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME" - so i run out there to check n see (in my socks, been rainin) - the building next door, upper balcony, middle hallway, 3 uniforms holdin him down already - he's, like, beggin wittem: "no please don't do this to me, this is my girl..." (tryin to reason wittem) - ok, pal - n the whole time i'm thinkin, what i wanna hear the cops say is: "yeah, that's yer girl, u hit her, n now yer goin to jail, now shaddap before we gag you" - n i'm sure they were explaining things to him best they could, but whatever wasn't workin - he still seemed to think if he could just get them to understand that... they were, like, dating or something, that... n they'd just had sex, or were just about to... that: whatever the centurions were so excited about, would be like: "oh, no problem. please continue, then. mind if we take a few cracks at her? or maybe... just watch... we'll just watch... yeah, you don't wanna get in the middle of a family argument or anyting. cases like this, you just establish a perimeter, make sure it doesn't become a neighborhood brawl, civil unrest, that sorta thing" - so i went back inside: in case neighbors (or hippies, even) weren't allowed a common curiosity - ok, here come some others, now - still, in i go - ah, commotion (i'll ask about it later, n be reassured it's nothing to worry about; wasn't gang related) - n then it's like: what if the chick, suddenly... doesn't wanna press charges? - so... here's what i say... u hafta take the chick in to be photographed (hospital, checked out) - can't let charges not be filed, he could be a killer psycho - you hafta say (n whether it's true or not, these cases): "we hafta log it in as evidence, miss" or "ma'am" ("ms.") - as in: "we were called out, something happened on our beat, our watch, we hafta make a record of it, to behold before our superiors, enda our shift, they ask us what we were doin" n "paperwork's a drag, but there's nuttin we can do about it" - ends the discussion, n lets her off the hook - also makes her mama happy - n who's payin taxes really these daze anyways - like whatever yer sales tax is, 1 of those percentages better go to bonkin bad guys on the head - n 2 for education, so assholes like this don't get created in the first place - bullies're mean - i hope he gets evicted, effective rehabilitation, a restraining order inflicted upon him... n she finds a nice guy who will only tickle her sweetly ;o)